Two notes about this posting:
First, I took last week off for Memorial Day.
Second, I try to always focus on being lighthearted and to make people laugh. Everyone needs to laugh. They just do. This past week was just too hard to make into a joke...so my apologies in advance. This post is different.
January 20, 2017 was Donald Trumps' inauguration as President of The United States...I was riding a train from New York's Penn Station to Lancaster, Pennsylvania where my wife would be waiting to pick me up from a business trip. The day was grey, low clouds, cool and misting rain. It was gloomy. I watched on my computer on the train and remember a sinking feeling as now President Trump started his speech...today I re-read that speech and the words do not seem all that gloomy; isolationist to be sure but one of leading all Americans to a better way of life. Those were the words. I guess it was the tone of those words and the choice he made to look more at failures, perceived or otherwise rather than the hope of the future. His speech did not inspire...it caused a low level of stress for me and I think many others. And that stress has never left me since that day. There is a constant underlying angst that has stayed with me throughout these three plus years he has been in office. In hindsight the words he spoke said one thing. The way he said them said another.
During this administration there have been some high points; low unemployment, rising wages, a soaring stock market, China perhaps playing at a more fair level...perhaps. But for any of the good things this administration has done they are all undone and undermined by this President's behavior. To be clear, I am a Republican but not exclusively. I vote Republican I would say eighty percent of the time. So I am not here bashing a President out of political rancor. No I am here stating what I think many, many Americans feel everyday; that somehow we ended up with President who does not care about this country despite what he claims. He does not lead or unite...instead he divides. We have a President who finds truth to be optional and who thrives on making people uncomfortable and not in the way that challenges you to be better and push yourself to greater heights. Instead he instigates and goads in ways that are personal attacks. His bullying makes one lose confidence and trust in human decency. In some cases it inspires awful, unthinkable behavior.
With every tweet he sends out he demeans not only the intended recipient but also that of the highest office in our nation. It is shameful, embarrassing and now so very, very clearly harmful. Which leads us to last week. In the midst of a Pandemic, with record illness, death and unemployment, with a low lying but simmering fear about our society, civility and security, we had yet another African American male subjected to unjust police behavior that led to his death. He was far from the first. And with that we have hit a flash point bigger than we have seen since the 1960's. And, in the midst of that unacceptable situation our President was more concerned with how Twitter reacted to one of his tweets. On Monday of this week he had the chance, albeit a bit late, to finally reach out and help calm the country. Instead he threatened military action and posed for a photo op which he will probably claim never happened if he gets the backlash he should.
It begs the question; Where do we go from here? I for one don't know. I know people are angry especially those under represented and under served by our society today. But I don't see looting and destroying property as a solution. There are reports and it seems some accuracy that say the looting is not from protesters but opportunists. Still whether there is looting or not, we have a problem that may just have finally caught the attention of this nation. At times like these we need leadership from our elected officials not hand wringing, "thoughts and prayers" and empty promises to do better.
But still...where do we go from here? I think we have been divided politically for decades not just years. And that division leads to little to no progress. It bleeds over into society. The two party system within our Federal Government which used to be held up as a model of decorum, civility and cooperation even when differing ideologically, now is considered inept, tone deaf and useless. This division leads to partisan politics. Said another way, there is a pervasive attitude among so many that says "If you don't agree with me then you are totally wrong and unworthy of my time or respect." That approach to others is now the norm in a society "connected" by social media. Behind this medium users feel empowered to not only speak their minds but to shout down others as the fight is only with words. It is much easier to be rude and provocative when you do not see your intended target(s) in person and can do so with a hidden identity. Social media has enabled bullies, uniformed loud mouths, and hate while encouraging a degeneration from using facts to support an argument to using opinion or worse, falsehoods. There is very little middle or common ground. And that means the divide is more pronounced, wide and harmful. Leadership can and should bridge this gap not widen it for personal gain or simply because it can.
We used to be a civil society more so than not. Did racism exist? Yes. Was it hideous? Yes. Have we improved at all...it does not appear so...certainly not enough. But there was a time when neighbors looked after neighbors, people debated politics or beliefs vigorously and then finished dinner together. When a car cut someone off entering a highway it resulted in a head shake from the driver. Today we hunker down in our homes, many of which no longer have front porches. When debates happen they often result in lost friendships, social media rants and condemnations and proverbial backs being turned on people who do not share the same opinion. Cut someone off on the highway and it can result in a frightening road rage incident with angry gestures, horn honking and sometimes much worse...all to "get even." I'm not sure when so many in society decided to "get even" but to decide to do so one needs to have decided they were wronged. And I am not talking about minority groups here...I am talking about white America...the group to which I belong.
The discussion of what has happened in today's society requires more than this post permits. Suffice to say we've lost our way and without real leadership...leadership willing to bridge divides not widen them, we will continue to wander aimlessly and further apart. In the absence of such leadership (and even in the best of times) we must still all do our part.
For what it's worth here are some thoughts of mine that I try (but don't always succeed) to live by in the hope that I help better society not degrade it.
Be civil to each other: Said another way, be polite, respectful and willing to compromise with your fellow man. It isn't always a zero sum game. As a professional negotiator I can tell you it rarely is a zero sum game. Approach your interactions with an open mind perhaps even an empathetic mind...everyone has a story and what is going on with you at a particular time or day may be dramatically different than the circumstance of their day.
Treat anger and rude behavior with kindness and calm: Tensions only increase when anger is met with anger. It's hard not to react the same way but in the end, the goal should be to live a meaningful life, reducing conflict not inciting it. Try deescalating instead of adding to the tension.
Be mindful of social media posts: I dropped Facebook two years ago and I have never regretted doing so. I am on twitter and the divide that at first seemed less pronounced is now growing rapidly. That said, I use it as a news aggregator and I am now more mindful of not simply retweeting material until I consider the consequences, source and context.
Consider limiting screen time of all kinds: Nothing new here but...it starts with our phones, moves back and forth to our computer screens and eventually ends up with our Televisions. Be careful not to over indulge in twenty-four hour news. It is rare that after watching an hour of "News" that watching another hour will bring any new, significant development worth waiting for...and it is exhausting and stress inducing. I have found this to be one of the best stress reducers and it includes turning it off so it isn't always there in the background "just in case something happens."
Find out how to give back to your community: Volunteering time, talent or money is a very good stress reliever and it benefits you and those you help. Pretty simple.
Don't quit on society; For every awful news story covering tragedies, injustice and violence there are countless stories of people being good. It just doesn't grab our attention like it should so it isn't always covered. But these stories are out there. Be one.
Make an informed vote! We don't just vote for the President. We vote for Senators, Congressional Representatives, Judges, Sheriffs, School Boards, Prosecutors...state and city offices as well. Do your research! Straight line party voting is, in my opinion a divisive approach. It's similar to voting for someone because you recognize their party affiliation and nothing else. It is a privilege to vote and we should take the time to elect people who demonstrate they will govern in a way that betters our society. Make that your litmus test.
Where do we go from here? Up. Because sadly we seem to have fallen pretty far lately and whether we like it or not...we are in this together. Let's all be better everyday because our future depends on it.
United we stand. Divided we fall.
Thanks for reading...
CS
