Ever since his inaugural speech in January 2017, President Trump has prided himself on his ad lib abilities and the ability to improvise on the spot. Last Friday was no exception. Clearly frustrated by the cancellation of his large stadium improv sessions, Trump on Friday continued to torture his staff, medical professionals, reporters and the American People by insisting on holding yet another session on national TV. The sessions dubbed "Covid-19 Task Force Updates" continue to see declining ratings and have been panned by critics.One going so far as to say "The President is one bad actor."
In a bid to increase ratings Trump went on the attack Friday attempting to wake up those who still had bothered to tune in.Trump was asked by NBC News White House Correspondent Peter Alexander what he might say to Americans who are frightened by the Corona Virus. Instead of gracefully taking on the easiest question ever asked of any sitting President or School Board member for that matter, The President's response was to lash out at Alexander, NBC and Comcast (The parent Company of NBC). Trump called Alexander "A terrible reporter" and also said Alexander "Should be ashamed of himself."
Those present were stunned and the group standing behind Trump appeared to begin looking to sneak away behind the curtain to extricate themselves from the situation. Vice President Pence continued his now twenty-two day streak of not blinking. Said one aide later when asked what happened he simply said "Total whiff." When asked to elaborate he rolled his eyes, sighed and said "Ok think of the batter that swings so hard his helmet falls off, he cork screws himself into the ground and falls over like a complete klutz...think about that and then realize this was ten times worse."
Others were less kind. Said one reporter who witnessed the epic miss, "My two year old could have knocked that out of the park." Said another, "That was easier than whiffle ball." Reactions were muted from Republicans who simply looked away when asked for comment. Later Vice President Pence did his best to help the President recover simply by answering questions more poorly than Trump. An effort described by one aide as "A brilliant deflection of the President's Epic miss."
Trump's improv routine continued as he went off script on numerous occasions forcing Dr. Anthony Fauci to continually to have to "clarify" The Presidents remarks. Fauci, an avid runner eventually broke a sweat from having to run back and forth to the podium.
Perhaps the most interesting portion was when the President pretended to be a Medical Doctor and began announcing that "Many many drugs are very promising...many...I'm not into drugs but the drug people tell me these drugs are really great, perfect actually. With the nations' hopes raised The President was asked for more detail. "Recidivism...that's one I hear that is doing very well, veeery weeell. Aspartame, been testing that in rats for years...ready to go pretty sure next week along with those mask things we talked about at some point. That sauce from Chick-Fil-a....not sure if it works for CV but why not? Whhhyyy NOT? It is just terrific on fries why not to cure a virus? Let's keep an open mind here...this is no time for negativity, no idea is too small or too big or too you know...out there unless of course it is...too out there...then we won't entertain it ...I don't like entertaining ideas or people or things if they are too out there. I've been told I'm a great entertainer, perhaps you've heard that perhaps you said it I don't know but...No we won't even look at it...not at all...even if it is useful."
As Trump was exiting the improv session he was asked if he had any words for the American People who might be afraid of the Corona Virus. His response..."Now that's an excellent question. Peter...pay attention."
Awakened from his nap Joe Biden said "What Trump said...The opposite."
No comments:
Post a Comment