Connecticut Bureau - NOT Westport
The Coronavirus crisis continues to disrupt and alter peoples lives in so many different ways... including the way people work. Across the country companies are quickly migrating towards "live streaming" meetings. The meeting app zoom has taken off in popularity and as people miss "being" in the same office, more and more leaders are asking participants to activate the video feature. What at first seemed like a good way to "connect" with co-workers has quickly led to all sorts of employee relations problems.
The issue it seems is that employees are able to get a glimpse in what was otherwise a private part of their co-workers existence...their lives at home. Whether it be a super upscale office background, an over the top display of family photos or a grandiose display of Company awards, HR professionals have reported a serious uptick in employee complaints. Said one who agreed to speak with us on the condition of anonymity, "Oh yes, I've had a number of employees complaining. One was super pissed because her co-worker continued to add awards, ribbons and trophies to his background display everyday.A few seemed to be self proclaimed. Another was upset because the employee had "Too many fucking pictures of his bitchy wife and unattractive kids."
Perhaps the biggest issue though has been "Home Envy." More specifically, employees see their co-workers in their offices, living rooms and kitchens during these meetings and make certain assumptions. "Oh yes, I've had at least ten calls from employees who saw a certain co-workers' home and called yelling "How much do you fucking pay Mike?? He is useless! Have you seen that fuckers' Kitchen? A Viking Stove!? Really?!? I need a raise!" Reports of these complaints seem to be growing at least as fast as the virus.
Another common complaint has to do with their co-workers appearances. Some "dress up" and appear to be going to an awards show while others look as if they just woke up. "Yes, a few participants seem to be dressed for a night out on the town while others appear to have just gotten back home from that night on the town."
A growing number of complaints stem from what some are calling "Close zoomers"...those participants who are so close to the computer you could do a dermatological exam. "Its a bit of an etiquette thing" stated Mary Nooshum, a recently fired marketing manager and now the owner of her newly established on line meeting consulting business called: It's not me it's you so back away from the screen big boy. "People aren't always tech saavy so you have to be forgiving. In some cases it's just another mirror for them to admire themselves...we show those folks no mercy."
Nooshum suggests the following guidelines for on line video meetings:
Dress/Attire: Keep it real folks. It's not Prom Night and its not a day at the local dump looking for stuff to hoard.
Appearance: Men...shave, wear a shirt...find a camera angle that does not make your co-workers want to pluck your nose hair. Women...be tidy...no need to shower everyday but the hair up...I just cleaned all the toilets look isn't working.
Pajamas Acceptable?: No. You don't want to be a pajama zoomer...and you aren't in 6th grade.
Food/Eating: No one wants to see you eat. If you must, stop the video feed or keep it to a minimum. Soup, chili, chowders of any kind...corn on the cob and artichokes are an absolute no.
# Chewzoomer...Nobody wants to be that...
Failing to Mute the volume: Classic error and a great way to get fired. Watch the negative comments and by all means don't bad mouth the boss even on mute...people can read lips.
Kids and Dogs: Sometimes cute, mostly annoying. That said if it appears you are on the ropes with the boss or you brought your C game to the presentation then by all means grab the pooch and distract everyone.
Just For Fun: Sit very still and try not to blink...see if anyone thinks your screen is frozen. With the volume on, start mouthing words until people tell you they can't hear you. Hold a sign that says you resign and see if anyone notices...what's the worst that can happen? Have a backup sign that says "I design" just in case...it's up to you to explain...
Sneaking in Happy Hour Early: It's not advised but if you do...conceal the beverage. We recommend not starting this until at least lunch time depending on your time zone...after all quarantines have altered the rules in ways we could never imagined....oh and with smoking penalties for many healthcare plans...skip the stogie, pipe and butts...If pot is legal I say throw caution to the wind but my last employer wasn't a big fan...
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