As the world
continues to wrestle with fears both real and imagined regarding the Ebola
Crisis, the most recent news regarding the virus had actually been upbeat…until
today. The level of media hysteria had recently leveled off and then when there
was something “newsy” to report, it was actually good news. Media outlets
realized that most of the news of the crisis here was well…old news and not
very interesting. Watching the same thing for three weeks like repeated scenes
of people attempting to put on protective equipment from an old 1996 “Working
With Bleach” safety video just weren't creating the fears the media so desired.
Nor were interviews with people “Who thought they might write a book about some
crazy disease coming over here but haven’t gotten around to it yet”.
So when a new,
alarming development surfaced today that was sure to raise the level of fear among
not only adults but children as well…news organizations across the country
jumped for joy.
As usual CNN
was the first to break the news (between back to back segments covering the
still missing Malaysian airliner and the Working with Bleach video) here is
what they said during the afternoon show “If there isn’t Any News We’ll Make
Some”:
“We have just
learned there is a shocking new twist in the Ebola crisis that we are sure
everyone will want to pay close attention to…even Wall Street is watching this
one. It appears that Ebola has crossed over into the Business community.” More
specifically, Ebola announced today at a sparsely attended press conference that
“Ebola is suing Disney for Trademark Infringement and also for “Trying to capitalize
on our well established, highly recognizable brand.” In a statement, the company
acknowledged that “We are indeed being sued by Ebola in Federal Court but the
charges are baseless, unfounded and frankly we are just sick over this.” The
company vowed to “Fight this with all available resources”; which appeared to
be limited as reportedly no lawyer is willing to get within a thousand yards of
Ebola to interview it.
At the press
conference, Ebola cited this microscopic slide view as evidence that Disney had
stolen their Logo. ”Clearly you can see where they got the mouse ears idea and
while they were careful to hide that rodent’s tail, we are investigating
whether we should sue men for “borrowing” the other part of the logo to
repopulate the world…something we are opposed to at this time as this is in
direct competition with our work.”
Ebola
continued: “It is clear that given our continued attachment to more and more
people across the world, Disney felt it had to “Adapt and morph a bit more”
and start to rebuild its image. We all know that starts with revamping the
brand and in this case, they started with a new logo.” When told by a reporter through a bullhorn
some 300 yards away that Disney’s logo was not “new” Ebola responded by asking
the reporter to come closer because he was difficult to hear. The reporter declined
citing an upcoming cruise reservation.
“Our logo
continues to reach out and really impact people and Disney knows not as many
people are dying to see them like they are with us. They have clearly tried to capitalize
on the recognition we have with our brand and we will not sit back and just go
away quietly. In fact, after this press conference we will be heading out on a
nationwide tour to spread the word.”
Disney, fearing reprisals has said while they will fight this in court, they are
willing to have their animation team develop “A new, more family friendly logo
for Ebola.”
The company
presented some early drafts that apparently Ebola was considering…
The Federal
Government, reeling from its slow response to the crisis immediately scheduled
hearings but was not contemplating a lawsuit ban “At this time”. The CDC said, surprisingly “We never saw this
coming but we still believe this won’t lead to any other lawsuits unless, of
course, it does. We will continue to issue contradictory protocols frequently."
Reaction from
the public has been mixed: “This certainly is concerning…I actually feel a
little bad for Ebola…if this is true of course” Said a park attendee as he
quietly removed the mouse ears hat from his daughter’s head.
CNN Planned
to run the story “Until even we are tired of it...then we'll go back to "Working with Bleach".
* I
hope no one is offended. If so…I apologize. This is how I deal with bad, sad,
awful issues.
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